Experience:500mg DPH - Unaware and yet so aware

Date: 28/10/2024
Location: United States - Northeast

Author:

Weight: ~50 kg / 111 lbs.
Height: ~173 cm / 5'8" in.
Dosage: 500 milligrams at 12:00 AM
Set: Depressed, ex-girlfriend broke up with me on this day 2 years ago, and the date always reminds me of that day. It was my birthday, I wanted to forget.
Setting: Home, basement, Halloween decorations everywhere around the house.
Previous drugs consumed:
- Alprazolam (Xanax) - 500µg around 1PM

Report

T-1:00 I hide a small baggie with xanax in it so i dont consume it all in my delirious state.

T+00:00 Time: 12AM Dosage: 500mg (20 25mg pills all at once with chocolate milk), start listening to the Light and Darkness album

UNKNOWN TIME: i accidentally close the tab playing Light and darkness. I do not notice it.

T+00:30 Start to feel heavy, minor visuals, and some confusion. I am in a call with friends. It is silent, I am muted. I muted the watch together we were doing to listen to L&D to make my trip worse. I withdraw from whats happening, I'm waiting for them to leave. Eventually they leave and I leave as well. My mouth starts to dry up.

T+1:48 I start to lose myself. I searched fro "arobu" no purple links, i did not find what i wanted. I start looking at the psychonaut wiki, something I like to do from time to time. I was somehow able to google "reuptake inhibitor" and "reuptake inhibitor diagram" and was looking at pictures of it. I watch a 2-minute neuroscience video about SSRIs. I don't remember doing any of it, but apparently i either used autoplay or i kept watching more, as from my history I watched videos by them about SSRIS, L-DOPA, LSD, Agonism, antagonism and allosteric modulators, Psilocybin, THC, CBD, SNRIs, Ketamine, MDMA, DMT, Methylphenidate, Zolpidem, Meth, Action potentials, Visual pathways, Divisions of the nervous system, and Sympathetic nervous system. I remember nothing of what they said, and I'm sure i would'nt have understood it anyways

T+02:00 Minor visual hallucinations, warping, random bubble-like overlay on monitor when bright light. Extreme lethargy, don't feel like moving. I hear whispering from upstairs, i ignore it. I remember i have chocolate milk, I start drinking it. It feels weird to swallow it because of the bronchodilation, the best way i can describe it is that its like a person with rabies, but without the fear of drinking and spasming. It just feels uncomfortable and strange. My hands are trembling intensely and I be careful when I drink as to not spill anything. From here on out, I am only guessing what I did, because i experienced near total amnesia. I went to my google sheets about drugs ive done. I changed the name of the Caffeine sheet to "Feuucik." There were no other changes made to the document.

T+02:30 I went to the bathroom. I walked up the stairs very slowly, the way my body felt made me feel like i had to walk slowly. I open the door, the entire 1st floor of my house is nearly pitch black. I feel on the walls for the bathroom door. I find it. I look in the mirror. I look at my pupils. They are pinpoint.

T+02:31 Friend says "ok im mad geeked who tryna do some activities together" in our group chat.

T+02:37 Friends start pinging me so I can join them. I do not respond. They ask where I am.

T+02:39 I get back from the bathroom, i didn't do anything there, i just sat down. I infer this from a friend who said "ellie moved, like a creature" they ping me "sign of life" i am pinged again

T+03:00 According to my search history, I must have had youtube autoplay enabled I hear what seems to be people talking to me, asking me questions, somehow aware that I am on DPH, i try not to respond to them. At certain points, I would respond, with a simple "yes" or "no" answer. Whenever I answered, it felt strange, like it wasn't me responding. I go to the bathroom again. I stayed there accomplishing nothing and I go back downstairs after 22 minutes.

T+03:41 I google "boprah" I clicked the first link, it was a link to a wikipedia article about Oprah's bank account. I don't care about oprah. I don't know what i was looking for.

T+03:41 I google "aminic atccenathe" No purple links. whatever I was looking for, I could not find.

T+04:00 Somehow i managed to get a box of spackle on my desk. Since my abuelita, tio abuelo, and tia arrived just before my birthday, i idiotically thought that they had brought me cotton candy. I try opening the container, but its impossible. I pull with all my might, but it wont open. I shake the jar of spackle and it makes a small rattling noise. I was given $100 from my abuelita and I thought that this was not cotton candy, but that she had secretly given me more money inside that cotton candy. I finally open the spackle and it looks blue and pink, like cotton candy. It looks hard, though, so I close the container and keep it next to me.

T+05:00 I get up from my couch, slowly (its in the corner and the only way out is by hopping above one of the arm chairs) one leg at a time, I collect my phone, earbuds, and "cotton candy" I forgot my koishi fumo, so I came back to get her. I didn't notice that I forgot my water (priorities). When i get to the door, i bump into it, and I close it. I go upstairs and put everything except my phone and earbuds in my room. I go to the bathroom and shower. I get out and go to bed. I did not dream

T+13:00 I am woken up by my mom. She asks me what the spackle is. Luckily, i forgot the words "cotton candy" so i said "let me see" she shows me the tub and i say "i don't know" She asks why it was in my room. I tell her I don't know. She leaves to go to the bathroom. I am intensely hungover, my visual acuity is completely gone, my mouth is drier than the Sahara, I feel intense fatigue and tiredness, and my heart was racing because i was afraid of being caught doing drugs again. I drink a cup of coffee to help with the hangover, and boost my acetylcholine levels at least a little bit. My hands are still shaking from both the fear and the DPH. I get to my computer, and I find out that I somehow changed firefox's default zoom to be set to 500% and that my translator extension is translating everything to German. I had to figure out how to reset them back.

T+14:00 My heart feels like its beating out of my chest. It feels heavy. I put my hand on my heart, it is rapid still. I start to panic. I feel a sense of impending doom. I take 1mg of xanax to calm myself down and slow my heartrate. After a while, it goes away.

T+17:00 I still feel fatigued and confused. Family members are calling me to wish me a happy birthday. I was able to come across as usual.

Submitted by Hypocriticellie