Experience:500mg DPH - Unaware and yet so aware

Date: 28/10/2024
Location: United States - Northeast

Author:

Weight: ~50 kg / 111 lbs.
Height: ~173 cm / 5'8" in.
Dosage: 500 milligrams at 12:00 AM
Set: Depressed, my ex-girlfriend broke up with me on this day 2 years ago, and the date always reminds me of that day. It was my birthday. I wanted to forget.
Setting: Home, basement, Halloween decorations everywhere around the house.
Previous drugs consumed:
- Alprazolam (Xanax) - 500µg around 1 PM

Report

T-1:00 I hide a small baggie with xanax in it so i dont consume it all in my delirious state.

T+00:00 Time: midnight Dosage: 500mg (20 25mg pills all at once with chocolate milk); start listening to the Light and Darkness album

UNKNOWN TIME: I accidentally closed the tab playing Light and Darkness. I do not notice it.

T+00:30 I start to feel heavy, with minor visuals and some confusion. I am on a call with friends. It is silent; I am muted. I muted the watch we were doing to listen to L&D to make my trip worse. I withdraw from what's happening, waiting for them to leave. Eventually, they leave, and I leave as well. My mouth starts to dry up.

T+1:48 I start to lose myself. I searched for "arobu" with no purple links but did not find what I wanted. I started looking at the psychonaut wiki, which I like to do occasionally. I could somehow google "reuptake inhibitor" and "reuptake inhibitor diagram" and was looking at pictures of it. I watch a 2-minute neuroscience video about SSRIs. I don't remember doing any of it, but apparently, I either used autoplay or i kept watching more, as from my history I watched videos by them about SSRIS, L-DOPA, LSD, Agonism, antagonism and allosteric modulators, Psilocybin, THC, CBD, SNRIs, Ketamine, MDMA, DMT, Methylphenidate, Zolpidem, Meth, Action potentials, Visual pathways, Divisions of the nervous system, and Sympathetic nervous system. I remember nothing of what they said, and I'm sure I wouldn't have understood it anyway

T+02:00 Minor visual hallucinations, warping, random bubble-like overlay on my monitor when bright light. Extreme lethargy, don't feel like moving. I hear whispering from upstairs, but I ignore it. I remember i have chocolate milk, I start drinking it. It feels weird to swallow it because of the bronchodilation; the best way I can describe it is that it's like a person with rabies but without the fear of drinking and spasming. It just feels uncomfortable and strange. My hands are trembling intensely, and I will be careful when I drink so as not to spill anything. From here on out, I am only guessing what I did, because i experienced near total amnesia. I went to my Google Sheets about drugs I've done. I changed the name of the Caffeine sheet to "Feuucik." No other changes were made to the document.

T+02:30, I went to the bathroom. I walked up the stairs very slowly; the way my body felt made me feel like I had to walk slowly. I opened the door; the entire first floor of my house was nearly pitch black. I looked on the walls for the bathroom door. I found it. I looked in the mirror. I looked at my pupils. They were pinpointed.

T+02:31 Friend says, "ok im mad geeked who tryna do some activities together?" in our group chat.

T+02:37 Friends start pinging me so I can join them. I do not respond. They ask where I am.

T+02:39 I got back from the bathroom. I didn't do anything there; I just sat down. I infer this from a friend who said, "Ellie moved like a creature." they ping me, "sign of life." I am pinged again

T+03:00 According to my search history, I must have had YouTube autoplay enabled. I hear what seems to be people talking to me, asking me questions. Somehow aware that I am on DPH, I try not to respond to them. I would reply with a simple "yes" or "no" answer at some points. Whenever I answered, it felt strange, like it wasn't me responding. I went to the bathroom again. I stayed there accomplishing nothing and went back downstairs after 22 minutes.

T+03:41 I googled "boprah," and clicked the first link to a Wikipedia article about Oprah's bank account. I don't care about Oprah. I don't know what I was looking for.

T+03:41 I googled "aminic atccenathe." There were no purple links, so I could not find whatever I was looking for.

T+04:00 Somehow, I managed to get a box of spackle on my desk. Since my Abuelita, Tio Abuelo, and Tia arrived just before my birthday, I idiotically thought they had brought me cotton candy. I tried opening the container, but it was impossible. I pull with all my might, but it won't open. I shake the spackle jar, making a slight rattling noise. I was given $100 from my Abuelita, and I thought that this was not cotton candy but that she had secretly given me more money inside that cotton candy. I finally opened the spackle, which looked like cotton candy and looked blue and pink. It seems hard, so I close the container and keep it beside me.

T+05:00 I slowly get up from my couch (it's in the corner, and the only way out is by hopping above one of the armchairs), one leg at a time; I collect my phone, earbuds, and "cotton candy." I forgot my koishi fumo, so I came back to get her. I didn't notice that I forgot my water (priorities). When i get to the door, i bump into it, and I close it. I go upstairs and put everything except my phone and earbuds in my room. I go to the bathroom and shower. I get out and go to bed. I did not dream

T+13:00 my mom wakes me up. She asks me what the spackle is. Luckily, I forgot the words "cotton candy," so I said, "let me see." She showed me the tub, and I said, "i don't know." She asked why it was in my room. I tell her I don't know. She leaves to go to the bathroom. I am intensely hungover, my visual acuity is completely gone, my mouth is drier than the Sahara, I feel intense fatigue and tiredness, and my heart was racing because i was afraid of being caught doing drugs again. I drink a cup of coffee to help with the hangover and boost my acetylcholine levels at least a little bit. My hands are still shaking from both the fear and the DPH. I got to my computer and discovered that I had somehow changed Firefox's default zoom to 500% and that my translator extension translated everything into German. I had to figure out how to reset them back.

T+14:00 My heart feels like it's beating out of my chest. It feels heavy. I put my hand on my heart; it is rapid still. I start to panic. I feel a sense of impending doom. I take 1mg of Xanax to calm myself down and slow my heart rate. After a while, it goes away.

T+17:00 I still feel exhausted and confused. Family members are calling me to wish me a happy birthday. I was able to come across as usual.

Submitted by Hypocriticellie