Experience:1100ug LSD (oral) - Becoming an Alchemist

Substance(s): LSD (Gel Tab)
Dose: 11 Tabs (~1100ug)
Route of Administration: Sublingual

Subject (At Time of Trip)

Age: 24
Sex: M
Height: 183cm / 6ft 3in
Weight: 89kg / 195lb
Date: 04/2022
Location: United States / Indiana

Background

I have had multiple encounters and experiences with LSD, and this trip only really had cannabis and nicotine included during this experience. I was at my parent's house (where I lived at the time of doing this), and I had my brother and his best friend trip sitting me as I went through this experience.

Experience Report

Consensus: Overall, this was a great trip for me, but something I highly recommend against unless you feel incredibly determined and/or compelled to go this far. Just my Fair Warning.

(Time will be written in accordance from when I dropped/time going through the trip)

20:30-22:30/00:00-2:00 (Come Up): Honestly, the Come Up was very subtle; kina hard to notice or remember for me. I remember colors started becoming more vibrant, and things became a lot more sharp, but honestly, it felt like I was just being pulled so hard into the trip so fast, that I was having a hard time catching up with where I was going. The first hour came and went so fast, it was wild. I remember never feeling comfortable, asking for my weighted blanket as a way to feel grounded from the panic and paranoia I was feeling, but it really just felt like I wasn't safe. Like, I knew I was physically safe, and I was around people who I loved and trusted in an environment I was completely familiar with, but there was still something in the back of my head that said "something's just not right here." I couldn't even really stay focused listening to my music or anything that would keep me grounded. I was just so far past myself, there was nothing to keep me from just fading away. Another thing that started happening was I started seeing these Eyes. And not like, my eyes or anything, but these huge, just wide open eyes, and it felt like I was just being watched by something the whole time

22:30-02:30~3:30/2:00-6:00~7:00 (Peak): This is the hardest part for me to recollect, because it felt like I was in three separate places at the same time. At this point, everything in my vision was starting to shift to almost like this Gold Tint, in a way. Like, Everything just had this gold tinge to it. But, it didn't feel like my "spirit", or whatever you want to call it was actually there to experience it. It felt like my soul had like temporarily traded places with this other "lost soul", who had no desire to be in my vessel, or any vessel at all whatsoever. Meanwhile, the Eyes had become much more prominent, and they did not seem satisfied with my arrival. See, I had a trip like this once before years ago with my ex-wife, and I feel like the experience I gained from that was tainted in a way, almost. And in that moment, it wasn't that I had inherently felt negativity, or bad, or evil, but just that these Eyes I were seeing were not necessarily content with me being aware of their existence. It felt like I was being told that they don't like letting people see them, mainly because it serves neither party much benefit to do it too frequently. Keep in mind, while this was happening, I was still aware of my vessel and the "lost soul" inhabiting it, and damn, guys, when I tell you that every second-- no, every millisecond felt like infinite eternities passing by without care or warning. It was amazing, beautiful, and horrifying all at the same time. I felt like I was watching countless Universes be born, and die in that period. I remember freaking out, and panicking, and never feeling like anything I could do would bring me back from this trip, and I started freaking out, worrying that I was gonna be stuck in this mindstate for the rest of my life. And honestly, at that point, I just felt like I wanted to die. It just felt like it was the only way to end the suffering, and also be able to make any more sense of what I was seeing and feeling if I wasn't attached, in any way, to this physical vessel. It was pretty crazy. Thankfully I had my brother and his best friend there to supervise and make sure I didn't do anything too crazy the whole time. And keep in mind, the intense panic I had only lasted at most 45 seconds, maybe a minute? But, it felt like infinite lifetimes. Now, up until this point, I've only mentioned two different states I was in; so what's the third one? See, this third one was weird, because it felt like I was seeing and living a life of a different person, almost like it was a previous incarnation of myself from a previous, or different lifetime. My brother and his friend were there, but they were also different people. And so, while my brother was mainly my "grounding" element in a way, the person who I felt like was guiding this side of the trip my my brother's friend. Now, I can't remember everything we discussed in this moment, at this point, music even sounded garbled as Hell. But, the one thing I remember being a big focal point during our discussions was the idea of Alchemy; and how Alchemists were never in the state of turning things to Gold, but rather turning the mind to Gold. And at this point, I was hallucinating so hard that I had imagined us as these Old Thyme "Alchemists" and this was like my first time experimenting with working with this much "flint" if you will (It's hard to describe exactly how my brain drew this analogy, but it was as if healing your mindstate with acid, or psychedelics was synonymous with striking a matchbox, and the acid was the fuel you were using to strike it). And so, in turn, because I was inexperienced with this much tinder, if you will, I accidentally ended up "burning" myself (I bust my knee open during the end of Peak, btw). And For some reason, this seemed to really bring everything together, and I was finally really starting to come down from the intensity. I felt like I could think, and speak, and overall be coherent and cognitive again. I was in a much more noticeably happier state, and I was joking and acting like I didn't just lose my mind. As the Alchemist in my mind, I had "Cleared my ash tray" if you will, and I was ready to move on.

03:30-09:00/7:00-12:00~13:00(?) (Come Down): At this point, I had already busted my knee open, my brother and his friend were extremely exhausted both physically and emotionally, and I was cognitive and coherent enough to know I was in control of myself, and that I was able to actually be present in the moment. So, at that point, we all agreed the job they came to serve had been fulfilled, and so my brother went to bed, his friend went home, and I was just left there alone with my thoughts. I had also taken some melatonin at this point to help dull some of the intensity, but I was very much still feeling like I was peaking hard on at least 4-5 tabs. Visuals were strong as shit, and I'm just laying in bed, bored and lowkey kinda confused. So, I pop in my earbuds, and I just decide to listen to my music playlist since I can actually pay attention to it now. (I would link the playlist, but I don't want to risk sacrificing my anonymity) And let me tell you, I personally feel like I didn't start my real acid trip until I made it to the come down. I won't go into too explicit detail what I saw, but in my mind, I saw Love. I saw these animals, beings, and creatures that, in that moment, felt like they were so excited and happy to see me; it also felt like, in a way, they were cheering me on, and wanted me to be happy and successful. It was crazy to see, especially since I'm a big believer that Acid hallucinations are derived from your ideas and feelings. But it really didn't feel like in that moment, though, that this was just my brain making these hallucinations up, but rather, the hallucinations had went out of their way almost, to let me see them. And I wept that morning. I wept so hard, and so intense, because before this moment, I never saw myself as someone worthy of love, or happiness, or success. But, when you sit there, and have this profound experience, where you feel like there are things much bigger than you that you aren't even actively aware of, that are all on your side, and want to see you be the best and happiest person you can be? Let me tell you guys, I'm not 100% healed from that trip, but I am definitely in a much higher state and level of comfort and happiness with myself, and who I am as a person than I ever have been. I finally feel like I'm on a good path, or even the right path, to finally begin healing and becoming the person I always wanted to be.