Experience:4mg clonazepam - Notes

Experience index - Clonazepam

Substance: Clonazepam (liquid rivotril drops)
Dose: 4mg (2.5mg initially, 1.5mg taken 30 minutes later
Route of Administration: Oral

Subject

Age: 15
Sex: Male
Height: 180cm / 5'11"
Weight: 88.5kg / 195lb
Date: Janurary 2022
Setting: Home, IKEA
Medication: Focalin XR 30mg, Wellbutrin XR 300mg, Lexapro 20mg, all taken once daily in the morning. I have not taken any of these medications for around 5 days prior to this experience. I have also taken 3mg Lunesta at night in the past, although I have not taken it for over 3 weeks at this point.
Potential Tolerance Factors: I have suffered an overdose involving brotizolam a bit over a week ago that led me to be taken to the ER. I do not remember exactly what substances were involved in this overdose, as my memory was very foggy due to the brotizolam. My mother claims wellbutrin was involved, which is possible, although she might have misidentified it. It is not clear to me if stimulants were involved in the overdose; however, what I know for sure is that over 2.5mg of brotizolam were involved, which is an extremely dangerous dose (fuck you compulsive redosing). Other than this, I had around 2mg of lorazepam (ativan) a few months ago, which is a very unsubstantial amount and probably not contributing to tolerance. When I still took lunesta, I would take it recreationally from time to time in doses around 12-21mg. I did not do this particularly often though, and I have not done it at all in the 3 weeks before this experience. Additionally, Lunesta, while it is a sedative-hypnotic, is not a benzodiazepine, so I do not think it contributes to the tolerance either. However, I would also like to mention I took 0.5mg of brotizolam during a flight I had the prior day, which might have caused an increase in tolerance.
Also worth mentioning: I have autism and ADHD and suffered from anxiety and social anxiety for most of my life.

Experience report

Timeline

T+0:00 | 15:09 - I put around 3 drops of the liquid rivotril drops in a little bit of water, and drank approximately half of the water, for a total dosage I would approximate to be 1.5-2mg. I also spilled a drop on the table and licked it off for a total of 2.5-3mg (dont worry my table is clean)

T+0:11 | 15:20 - Went use the restroom, felt a little bit tired but nothing insane.

T+0:21 | 15:30 - Browsed r/benzodiazepines for a bit. Feel a bit more tired but not necessarily high. Expecting the effects to kick in more noticably in the coming 20-40 minutes.

T+0:30 | 15:39 - I promised myself not to redose before I took my initial dose, but of course I lied to myself and drank the remainder of the rivotril water. Next time I will make sure not to prepare more than I am planning to use, which I reccomend you do too if you're planning to take any benzodiazepine that causes disinhabition/compulsive redosing.

T+0:49 | 15:58 - Had a brief conversation with my dad. Felt like my speech was slurring but only a little bit.

T+1:18 | 16:27 - I spent most of the time between the last update and this update working on this report. I just stood up to use the restroom and I could definitely feel that the clonazepam was kicking in. I felt "funny"; I felt a certain "fuzziness" while standing up, walking to the bathroom and taking a piss. Taking a piss itself wasnt particularly enjoyable, but I just feel very relaxed, calm and content. It's a very subtle feeling, and I feel like I can still pretty much pass myself off as "sober" to people I'm talking to. Also, I'm starting to feel a lot more disinhibited and careless. It's hard to explain why I feel this thing since at this point it only really applies to insignificant actions, such as closing doors with not enough/too much power, or knocking over a roll of toilet paper into the sink.

T+1:28 | 16:37 - Time has felt like it's going a lot quicker than usual during this high. I've been high for almost an hour and a half at this point but it's felt like maybe half an hour at the very most. Additionally, as someone who has ADHD and anxiety, I usually feel like I have too many thoughts in my head at all times. During this high, however, my mind almost feels like a desert; in a good way. I don't feel like a ghost or a zombie, I just feel like my mind is a lot quieter, and that negative thoughts I typically have are either gone completely or muted unless I think of them on purpose. In general, I just feel like my mind isn't racing as it usually does.

T+1:36 | 16:45 - had another brief conversation with my dad, I stuttered several times while talking and felt like certain things I was meaning to mention took a second to pop into my mind, causing me to stutter more. I feel tired, but it's not overwhelming drowsiness or anything. I feel like I could drive a car or operate machinery, but I know that I most certainly couldn't and these are likely just illusions of sobriety. I feel pretty much sober, but I can tell my brain is working slower than usual. I went get the mail earlier and I dropped several envelopes repeatedly. I also had a car drive by me but I didn't notice or hear it until right when it drove by me. So while I might feel sober, I most certainly am not.

T+1:54 | 17:03 - My bed has been broken for a few weeks now because the metal bar that goes under the middle is bent. It's an extremely strong bar, and I have struggled to un-bend it for a while. I attempted to put one side of the bar under a car's wheel and stand on the other side before, which fixed it temporarily but had to be redone multiple times a week because it would keep getting bent again. Well, I just had the idea of putting one side of the bar on an object and the other side on the floor, and just sitting on it. It's such a simple idea, yet one I have not thought of until now. Not sure if it had to do with the fact I'm high or not, but I believe since my mind is so calm and collected at this time it could be a contributing factor. Anyway, even this would not serve as a permanent fix to the bar on my bed bending, so my dad offered to take me to IKEA and get another bar for my bed. I initially declined the offer, but decided to go with him anyway.

T+2:03 | 17:12 - Me and my dad are off to IKEA. I forget to take masks, which pisses off my dad. We drive back and grab some. On the ride there, I have some conversations with my dad. Normally this would be exceptional, since I am very introverted and not social for the most part, although to a lesser extent with my family.

T+2:25 | 17:37 - We arrive at IKEA. My dad strolls around the store for a very long time, which somewhat irrarated me. I found myself getting much more irritible a lot more easily than usual during the high. We grab the piece I need, go to the checkout, and head back home.

T+3:10 | 18:22 - We get back home. At this point, I am feeling pretty much completely sober; the drowsiness is pretty much gone now. That said, I was certainly still high, just with a much stronger illusion of sobriety. I struggled to do basic math in my head to figure out the T+ to put on this footnote. Upon arriving home, I immediately go to my room and assemble the new piece we just got. I got extremely pissed after a piece I previously removed got "mixed up" in a strange way that was super difficult to untangle. Eventually I get the hang of it and fix my bed.

T+5:10 | 20:22 - I have very poor memory of what happened between the last footnote and this footnote. I have amnesia from the time shortly before I went to sleep.

Aftereffects: I generally don't remember any of my dreams too well, although I remembered the one I had this night pretty clearly. I don't think the contents of the dream are particularly relevant to this report, but I definitely felt like my dream was a lot more vivid and memorable.

Conclusion

I really enjoyed this experience, but I am very surprised by how subtle it felt. I felt "high" for around 3-4 hours, and I was certainly too high to drive or operate machinery, but I felt pretty much functional, as if I wasn't high. I still definitely enjoyed it, it's just not really a body high (other than the drowsiness) and more of a small mind high. I loved this experience, partly because it was so subtle.

Personal rating: 4.5/5

Effects analysis

Positive:

Sedation and Anxiety suppression - "Taking a piss itself wasnt particularly enjoyable, but I just feel very relaxed, calm and content."

Physical euphoria - "I felt a certain "fuzziness" while standing up, walking to the bathroom and taking a piss."

Thought deceleration - "I don't feel like a ghost or a zombie, I just feel like my mind is a lot quieter, and that negative thoughts I typically have are either gone completely or muted unless I think of them on purpose."

Dream potentiation - "I generally don't remember any of my dreams too well, although I remembered the one I had this night pretty clearly."

Negative:

Irritability - "I found myself getting much more irritible a lot more easily than usual during the high."

Compulsive redosing - "I promised myself not to redose before I took my initial dose, but of course I lied to myself and drank the remainder of the rivotril water."

Disinhibition (mild) - "'I'm starting to feel a lot more disinhibited and careless. It's hard to explain why I feel this thing since at this point it only really applies to insignificant actions, such as closing doors with not enough/too much power, or knocking over a roll of toilet paper into the sink."

Amnesia - "I have very poor memory of what happened between the last footnote and this footnote. I have amnesia from the time shortly before I went to sleep"

Delusions of sobriety: "I feel like I could drive a car or operate machinery, but I know that I most certainly couldn't and these are likely just illusions of sobriety."

Motor control loss (mild) - not mentioned in report, it was very minor.

(yeah i know that i have more negative effects than positives, but i still feel like the positives outweighed the negatives greatly)

Submitted by Ptonix

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